You aren't who you think we are

I feel lucky that I have people in my life who aren't afraid to step outside the realm of polite or safe conversation. I appreciate those who enjoy exchanging philosophical rants or a heated round of respectful debate. Or, who aren't afraid to open up and express their deepest fears and desires. People who tell me I'm 'wrong' but are willing to accept with an open mind when I tell them the same. I learn so much from them and, even though things may get uncomfortable, I appreciate that they find value in exposing their ignorance, feelings, desires, or fears.

I make no apologies for my excessive want of complex conversation. Although it may come across as snobish, my motiviation is not so much self centered but more self evolving. The truth is I am uncomfortable when my world becomes too comfortable. One can get arrogant when not forced to challenge their own status quo. Creating an unchanging identity with opinions set in stone and judgements based on ignorance simply strokes one's own ego and allows them to radiate a sense of false happiness and certainty in an uncertain and scary world.

It's difficult with a lot of people to get to the point where you exchange more than just comments about the weather and polite formalities as not to offed. Some people are just more comfortable with shallow banter and it doesn't matter how much time you spend with them you never can REALLY know them. There are people in my life I have known for years that and have no idea what they really think or feel. These are my aquaintances.

When it comes to personal growth, I particularly relish the opportunity to meet new people because even the usual crowd can get too comfortable. It is new encounters that especially force me to step outside my comfort zone because they bring to my world a completely different way of looking at things. However, it is difficult breaking through the walls that most people put up to protect the person they have become. I feel sorry for those that believe they have nothing left to learn and don't realize the potential for personal growth when you put down your defences and dare to challenge your own truth by getting inside someone elses head. Absorbing all their experiences, questioning their values vs. yours, being influenced by their ideals, challenging and being challenged by another truth, understanding and learning from their reality. I understand that change can be difficult. That challenging yourself and questioning false truths can be quite depressing. But, if you simply accept that 'you are who you are' then you'll only experience life in one way. How boring.

Samina the plumber

Although I'm not the most skilled at do-it-yourself household repairs, my frugal nature has forced me to tackle tasks I would much rather hire an expert to do. At $90an hour, it was not an option to call in a plumber to fix my clogged bathroom sink. Especially since it is not a difficult undertaking and something I'm more than capable of learning to do. So I spent my Saturday morning underneath the sink, deciphering the pipes and valves that allow me access to water.

It was quite the labourous task, as the most obvious solution of cleaning the top drain didn't work. I ended up fashioning a pipe snake out of a metal hanger and had to fish the digusting gunk out of the pipes that led into the main piping system behind the wall. After the successful de-clogging I felt proud of my ingenuity and the fact that I didn't run to Rona and pick up some overpriced tool that would get used so infrequently and spend most it's time on a shelf collecting dust.

Thankfully, the overwhelming smell of septic water and sight of nausea inducing unidentified black sludge is in the past. Looking forward to some downtown shopping and photography with friends this afternoon, which is really how a weekend should be spent.

Elizabeth & the Catapult

After a long dry spell I finally found a band I like.

Chantal Kreviazuk with the CPO

Chantal Kreviazuk recently put on a concert accompanied by the Calgary Pholharmonic Orchestra. It was an amazing evening that I would rank as one of the best live performances I've seen. The music was perfectly arranged to not over shadow the singer and allow her to showcase her music, which is difficult to do when you have over 50 musicians and 20 different instruments. Their rendidtion of Time, my favorite Kreviazuk song, sent shivers down my spine and further proved Chantal worthy of my adoration.

Chantal in a homegrown talent that doesn't get the recognition she deserves. When I first saw her perform live a few years ago I was blown away by her vocal range and quality. When she silences everyone else on stage and perfoms solo with her piano it is obvious that she is very musically skilled and is far more than just a digitally altered faux musician.

From the mouth of babes (part 3)

Zaman is discovering the benefit of being able to pee standing up. While we were in the washrooms at Calaway park he mentioned that he was standing and peeing because public toilets are dirty. When it was my turn he asked if I was going to stand. I simply said no, and didn't elaborate any further. He responded by proudly saying, "Khaala, it's very easy, when we get home I can teach you."

Jibraan, who is just starting to master the English language, made an interesting discovery. As I was leaving his house he ran towards the door and said, "I have a new bum from Canada."

Me and my white friends

Everytime my friends and I eat at Sun's BBQ someone at our table cracks a joke about being the only people in the restaurant who aren't Chinese. The comments are always centered around the mass amounts of food we consume. We laugh about the staff or patrons probably mocking the white people who eat too much. It might not seem funny written in a blog but in the moment it's hilarious and becomes even funnier the fuller we get.

It occured to me, after our last visit there, that hey, I'm not white. In the moment, when the jokes are flying and even I am making comments about our WHITE table, that I am indeed one of them. It seems so nautural. I love that there is no need to prefix a joke with 'that white table and one brown person'. It's so great that color is irrelevant when we are making race based jokes :-).

Nothing to look forward to

I'm not known to back down from a challenge. Although things may seem difficult in the beggining I can convince myself to persevere as I eagerly await that feeling of accomplishment when something that seems impossible suddenly becomes second nature. This happens often in tennis as I master one technique and progress to something new. It is the same thing with piano or singing, both of which are filled with the highs of accomplishment and the lows of the seeminlgy impossible. What makes certain challenges worth persevering at is when the next level is so different from the previous one that you're adding more knowledge and experience to your repertoire.

I try to take the same never-give-up approach to working out however I just can't find the same satisfaction. When ten push ups seem impossible and then one day becomes easy, more reps are added. When running 5 km's isn't challenging anymore, more distance is added. Sit ups, pulls ups, etc.... it's all the same. It has become quite boring doing the same thing, or slight varieties that aren't really different enough to be intersting. I am not about to quit because there is a nice sense of accomplishment when you notice muscles you haven't seen before or your pants fit looser. Thankfully, a kick ass playlist on a portable mp3 player keeps me going.