No going back

Yesterday there was a group of guys goofing around on the tennis court. Engaged in a friendly match, they seemd to be really enjoying themselves. The sounds of friendly taunts, harmless insults, and a lot of laughter crossed over to our court. They were decent players, skilled enough to get a point going with a lob serve and to keep the ball in play for lenghty rallies to make for an enjoyable game

The sound of their simple fun only escalataed the extreme frustration that I had been experiencing prior to their arrival. Amongst thoughts about backhand grips, forehand follow through and proper footwork, I envied their abilibty to just get out and enjoy the beautiful sunny day without having to analyze every shot.

I was feeling added pressure because this weekend I'm playing in the Stampede Classic tennis tournament. I entered the same tournament last year with unfavourable results, but seeing as it was my first tournament ever I was not too disapointed with losing. I have not really been entertaining thoughts of winning or losing this weekend but my biggest fear going into the tournament is not showing an ounce of improvement 365 days later.

Other than a little lapse in concentration from December to February I have worked really hard at improving my game. Committing to hitting at least four times a week, spending a small fortune on tennis lessons, and pushing myself to practice with the ball machine at 7:00 in the morning should, in theory, produce improved play.

I'm stuck in limbo, so far from being a beginner but no where near acheiving the skills to compete at the level that I aspire to. I have accepted the fact I'll never be one of those happy-go-lucky-bat-the-ball-around-and-laugh players. Even in the friendliest of matches I'll always be searching for perfection. But if I don't improve then I'll be stuck in the middle forever.